Thank you both for a valuable dialogue, which I will read and read again. Just one observation I'd make. That has to do with empathy. In my experience of working in female dominated industries, and for most of that being a manager, women do not have much empathy as defined as being able to get into anothers mind/experience. If they had empathy a huge amount of sorting out fall outs and disagreements etc. wouldn't have happened and my job infinitely easier. No I think women are adept at expressing sympathy and indeed appearing to be sympathetic is a high priority. But what is actually happening is "projection" of their feelings into others. The results are a great deal of completely wrong assumptions about other people's actual feelings, what they mean by something said and done, or what actions mean. I really do think that the common assumption that empathy is a particularly female thing is quite wrong, rather it is that this belief means women are particularly prone to project into others and not take the step of asking or checking out their understanding. Sympathy is particularly important, and being seen to be sympathetic very much so. Indeed in my experience women find it nigh on impossible to follow the Christian teaching to give anonymously, even to raffle tickets or pennies in a box. And of course feminism is awash with assumptions about men and with ostentatious expressions of sympathies for women and children.
Nigel, I agree with what you describe. Real empathy is rare in women, especially under today's conditions of the Matrisensus. That's why it was only exceptional mothers historically who were able to love their children more than they themselves were loved as a child. Just as real truth-seeking is rare in men, who for the most part just go along with the cultural story, and that's why the men who historically moved our knowledge forward were also rare.
I think the rareness is where I find hope. Certainly in this country (UK) time after time surveys find the majority of both sex express very traditional aspirations. Of course the men are ignored while feminist organisations always loudly demand all these women are "educated" out of such ideas. Yet in fact in my daily life most people do indeed reflect the survey results. Whereas a relatively small number of men and women in our civil institutions are fully on board with feminism. Effectively those who went to "Oxbridge" or Russell Group Universities. Now the wheels are gradually falling off this "elite's" hold, in a very deferential society, as people look on incredulously at notions such as "trans" and multiple genders wildly divergent treatment of different groups (most notably the "asian grooming gangs") and evident direct discriminations in favour of women. There is considerable attempts to hush this disquiet and lots of handwringing about the "chasm" between those in authority and the wider public. With the supposedly "woke" younger generations far more skeptical of feminism than the supposedly conservative "boomers" I have hope that there will be a shift. In a similar way the formerly PC Scandinavian and northern european nations have made a massive change of attitude to immigration and multiculturalism, under huge pressure from their people. In short I'm hopeful. I think there is a danger to assume the outcomes, for instance the UK being Europe's leader in % of single parent/blended/chaotic "families, is what people aspired to.
I've noted that when a woman consoles another woman she often will reflexively agree with literally everything the distressed woman says. This, in my opinion, is neither compassionate nor sympathetic: It's just patronizing.
But it is the root of so much today as everything is agreed to in order to console. No matter how ridiculous or how contradictory. "Self identification" being just latest thing to be enforced in order to avoid upset.
Thank you both for a valuable dialogue, which I will read and read again. Just one observation I'd make. That has to do with empathy. In my experience of working in female dominated industries, and for most of that being a manager, women do not have much empathy as defined as being able to get into anothers mind/experience. If they had empathy a huge amount of sorting out fall outs and disagreements etc. wouldn't have happened and my job infinitely easier. No I think women are adept at expressing sympathy and indeed appearing to be sympathetic is a high priority. But what is actually happening is "projection" of their feelings into others. The results are a great deal of completely wrong assumptions about other people's actual feelings, what they mean by something said and done, or what actions mean. I really do think that the common assumption that empathy is a particularly female thing is quite wrong, rather it is that this belief means women are particularly prone to project into others and not take the step of asking or checking out their understanding. Sympathy is particularly important, and being seen to be sympathetic very much so. Indeed in my experience women find it nigh on impossible to follow the Christian teaching to give anonymously, even to raffle tickets or pennies in a box. And of course feminism is awash with assumptions about men and with ostentatious expressions of sympathies for women and children.
Nigel, I agree with what you describe. Real empathy is rare in women, especially under today's conditions of the Matrisensus. That's why it was only exceptional mothers historically who were able to love their children more than they themselves were loved as a child. Just as real truth-seeking is rare in men, who for the most part just go along with the cultural story, and that's why the men who historically moved our knowledge forward were also rare.
I think the rareness is where I find hope. Certainly in this country (UK) time after time surveys find the majority of both sex express very traditional aspirations. Of course the men are ignored while feminist organisations always loudly demand all these women are "educated" out of such ideas. Yet in fact in my daily life most people do indeed reflect the survey results. Whereas a relatively small number of men and women in our civil institutions are fully on board with feminism. Effectively those who went to "Oxbridge" or Russell Group Universities. Now the wheels are gradually falling off this "elite's" hold, in a very deferential society, as people look on incredulously at notions such as "trans" and multiple genders wildly divergent treatment of different groups (most notably the "asian grooming gangs") and evident direct discriminations in favour of women. There is considerable attempts to hush this disquiet and lots of handwringing about the "chasm" between those in authority and the wider public. With the supposedly "woke" younger generations far more skeptical of feminism than the supposedly conservative "boomers" I have hope that there will be a shift. In a similar way the formerly PC Scandinavian and northern european nations have made a massive change of attitude to immigration and multiculturalism, under huge pressure from their people. In short I'm hopeful. I think there is a danger to assume the outcomes, for instance the UK being Europe's leader in % of single parent/blended/chaotic "families, is what people aspired to.
I've noted that when a woman consoles another woman she often will reflexively agree with literally everything the distressed woman says. This, in my opinion, is neither compassionate nor sympathetic: It's just patronizing.
https://youtu.be/XHnAM6xb18I?si=7ViFepySKHGIRVRb
But it is the root of so much today as everything is agreed to in order to console. No matter how ridiculous or how contradictory. "Self identification" being just latest thing to be enforced in order to avoid upset.