I see this a LOT. In our parish, the Mother's Day sermon is always about how amazing moms are. (And I agree!) But the Father's Day sermons are always lectures about the failings of fathers.
Looking for truth in the church is like looking for truth in family court. The bible says: 'Wives are to OBEY their husbands" 'wo-MEN are to COVER their bodies" The Apostle Paul admonished wo-MEN to have a sober expression on their face, and NOT to even wear a hole in their garments or show a spot of their flesh" Jesus admonsihed MEN NOT to marry a divorced wo-MAN for she is an adulterous" MY POINT: Pastors want to conscript MEN to traditional roles of protector & provider...whilst giving wo-MEN carte blanche to abandon their traditional role of support & subordination
Not surprisingly lots of churches are now complaining of losing the male flock, and of men who come to church once or twice and never return. The narrative is too close to the one pushed by the feminist liars around sexual and domestic violence, where predatory women are given cover - many churches seeming to act for women, as the catholic church did for priests, pretending they can do no wrong, and quietly moving the discussion where they are caught.
Christian leaders are IMPOSTERS they are NOT telling the truth. Jesus admonished MEN to NOT marry a divorced wo-MAN" "For she is an adulterous and has been defiled" My point: If Christian preachers were actually defending Gods word, they would not be conscripting MEN into tradtional roles of protector & provider whilst wo-MEN are being given carte blanche to escape traditional roles of support & subordination
About 500,000 years ago, our ancestors started becoming a bi-parental species. We know that because today's brain imaging shows paternal behavior originating in the newest part of our brain, the cerebral cortex that began developing about 500,000 years ago. Meanwhile, maternal parenting comes from the oldest parts of our brain, the amygdala and other ancient structures. As a bi-parental species (one of the few in the mammalian world), our children need and do best when they receive different parenting from Dad than from Mom. Kids do best when they receive both and each parenting style tends to support and mesh with the other. To the extent that we teach fathers to parent like mothers, we do them, our children and our societies a grave disservice.
When the wokeys blather about male brains and female brains (to justify "trans" by claiming there can be female brains in male bodies) they don't seem to realize that this ^^^^
is why male & female brains are different -- it's a mechanism whereby the offspring get the benefit of massively more kinds of brain activity focused on their rearing, since the brain function is spread out over 2 brains.
We have 5000 or 6000 years of recorded HIS-story...DON'T buy the evolution THEORY. I DO believe in ADAM & EVE. I also believe that GOD CURSED wo-MEN with LABOR PAINS for trapping MEN with pregnancy as it says in Genesis. DON'T agree that Fathers should have to provide for wo-MEN or children outside the nuclear family.
I see this a lot in an online mom group I'm in. It's full of upper class moms who stay home and constantly complain their husbands aren't doing more cleaning and child rearing.
A friend of mine was on maternity leave from her university job some years ago; her husband was still working at his. But you can bet he had to pull his weight getting up in the night etc on an equal basis. The man is a shadow of his former self. Very sad.
Janice, this is off topic but I think it will interest you and possibly be useful in your reporting. My alma mater, University of North Texas, has just added a course on witchcraft in their W&GS department. They're teaching the intersection of black magic and activism.
I was brought up in a single-mother household and we had to do washing up. When I got married, for about the first three years I thought as a good husband I'd do the washing up, so my wife barely did it. What I found very strange was that she started complaining to other people about how I wasn't helping her with housework. I got a bit annoyed and decided to stop doing the washing up. One day I spent the entire day doing work around the house, mostly cutting weeds and bamboo which were so high that barely any light got in the windows, as well as sweeping the floor and other jobs. My wife's response to this was to complain, on the same day, that I wasn't helping her enough with the housework, and I used to do more to help her (back in the day when she was complaining about me not doing enough to help her) but I didn't do it any more. She seemed to feel she was playing some sort of game which housewives play of saying their husbands aren't doing enough to help them, which was unconnected to whether or not I was helping her.
I googled your term, and Maternal Gatekeeping sounds like what used to be called being a fusspot. She is a terrible fusspot, especially about cats, whom she treats as a combination of fragile, delicate glasswork and a newborn infant, all the while as the cat leaps air gaps of several metres, or jumps from standing to human head height. A lot of women seem to be fusspots, not so many men.
We women expect men to know what it is we want them to do by magic especially when it comes to household tasks. This includes doing the task properly ( in other words just like they do). It took me years to be more like a man and be very specific about what I would like my husband to do. Still working on not being annoyed when he doesn't do it my way.
Sounds like you should have DUMPED her! I wouldn't settle for a wo-MAN who doesn't see herself as the "moon revolving around the sun" (Which was said about how BRUCE LEE'S wife felt about him,
BEFORE SHE MARRIED HER LAWYER! Since Jesus said: "DO 'NOT' marry a divorced wo-MAN" "For she is defiled" "And is an ADULTEROUS" I say>>> MEN... if you do not see the wo-MAN who cries WOLF... as the FOX guarding the HEN HOUSE.... shame on you for not getting ADAM & EVE
The baseless, ridiculous, and completely unfair complaints about housework were very annoying, and if we didn't have children I would certainly have considered ending the relationship at that point.
The problem is that wo-MEN want equality in the 'self aggrandizing' sense, but not in the reality/accountability/ sense, and the CHURCH, JUST LIKE ANY OTHER institution, IGNORING wo-MEN'S 'monumental transgressions' whilst admonishing the MALE population for the (fallout) after the sexual >(wo-MAN'S) revolution/liberation/< THE BIBLE IS AGAINST wo-MEN'S liberation!!!!!! ?????? And so the CHURCH IS >FAKE! Jesus said this >himself! See...if MEN have a responsibility... >So do >wo-MEN!
In the end I think that it's something you have to work out with your partner. I don't mind doing housework or even helping but it's difficult to collaborate with my wife, so what I do is to just demark an area of work which I alone do and leave other areas for her to do, so I do all the gardening and all of the rubbish disposal.
I'm disappointed to learn that Glenlivet has followed in Gillette's repugnant footsteps (although--to be honest--I far prefer Laphroaig, Lagavulin, or Bunnahabhain anyway). It's telling that the daughters and sons portrayed in this propaganda piece rely on inane clichés to speak about the "new and improved" forms of fatherhood they envision. Their inanity reveals that the goals of feminism have never consisted of creating fathers--or more generally, men--that feminism finds acceptable: building an ideal man or father is a pointless gambit in a game that will always ultimately assert the moral superiority of women. Have we ever seen a hate group that found its targets sufficiently "rehabilitated" to its liking that it renounced its hatred for them? Feminists win this game of dressing the emperor in the new clothes they've designed for him simply by maintaining their pernicious myth that men are morally inadequate and that they are the arbiters of any moral goodness that they want to dole out or withhold as they wish.
My husband has never liked Glenlivet much either. His favorites are Bunnahabhain, the Glenmorangie Quinta Ruban, and the Aberlour 12. He used to prefer the very peaty Scotches, but now he's transitioned away from them.
I agree with you: the ultimate goal is not to rehabilitate men but to have men hate themselves. In that, I trust the feminists will not succeed.
With the realisation that the concept of 'internalised misogyny/homophobia/racism' was created to justify externalised hatred, contempt and social relegation for men/straight men/white men comes true liberation.
There are a lot of gay men who are pushing back against woke militant "trans activists" at the forefront of promoting and legislating child-abussive medically transitioning minors; these men should be celebrated
It's very easy to fake expertise in Scotch whisky. Just learn a few adjectives like "peaty" and a few obscure names like "Lagavulin" and you're already well on your way to sounding like an expert. For extra marks, go on a guided tour of the Scottish Highlands to increase your whisky credibility.
I suggest not the Highlands but the Islands. Islay, Jura (George Orwell wrote Nineteen Eighty-Four there), and Skye off the west coast would make for a memorable holiday. Just don't go during the midege season, or you'll never return!!!
I don't know anything about alcoholic drinks. Around the age of twenty at university I used to drink beer in the student bar. I realised I didn't enjoy it and haven't really drunk alcohol since then.
Bunnahabhain was the first Islay malt I ever tasted, and I've loved Islay malts ever since. When my beloved daughters were maybe 8/9 and wanted to go to Disneyworld Florida, I took them for a tour of the Islay distileries instead. Character-forming, or something haha!
I've heard it said that during prohibition in the US, there were officials whose job it was to taste alcohol-containing liquids to ensure that nobody would ever find them drinkable. And so it was that Laphroaig was marketed as a cough mixture, and sold in the US. I'm sure the story is true, I think a man in a pub (public house / bar) related it to me.
If he hasn't tried it yet, your husband might like Talisker. It's less peaty than the big Islay scotches, but still has a bold, slightly saline character. And as far as I know, they've never led disparaging campaigns against men. 🙂
There's a new distillery on Raasay, a small (but very interesting - check out Hallaig & Jock's Road - island off Skye. Not tasted it yet but I'm looking forward to doing so.
People who see themselves as victims will victimise. If they cannot find a reason to victimise they will make up reasons, or dispense with reasons altogether and tyrannise for the sheer hell of it. Aesop's fable of the wolf and the lamb sums it up.
My sense is that all this toxic messaging IS somehow responsible for some demoralization of men, which is having negative social side affects. Other men I think just ignore this stuff, and increasingly avoid media generally and the corporate world also. The onslaught never ends.
I never really appreciated my dad, until I became a dad.
There were a lot of behind-the-scenes things that he did. Like repairing what I broke after I was asleep. Teaching me how to do things, that mothers do not teach, like riding a bike. He taught me about being safe.
The real reason that men get the moral bashing on Father's Day is about shaming and humiliating all aspects of "Relational Aggression". To make men feel guilty.
I recently watched a Youtube short where a young woman worked in a Male Prison and she said that the extremely common theme amongst the prisoners is that they were "Fatherless".
I remember years ago, some friends visited us and their little girl dropped her hair tie between the boards on our verandah. My husband and her Dad spend ages bending wire and making a hook to draw it up and return it to her. I thought this was so sweet and kind. I know I wouldn't have done this!
I like whiskey although I don't drink it very often. It is somewhat more-ish. And a man alone has to choose his friends wisely. Bud Light is not a big thing in New Zealand and I don't remember ever drinking it. None-the-less I have put both Bud and Glenlivet on my Gillette list. Banned forever.
As I write this I can see that this is an over-reaction. Everyone can make a mistake. Should I not just shrug and move on? Was the harm to me sufficient to make pariahs of them? Probably not, but banned forever they are, and so they will remain. A line must be drawn somewhere.
Two advertisements are currently running in New Zealand from the Accident Compensation Commission. The ACC is a "state owned enterprise" a socialist style compulsory insurance provider designed to solve the very real problems faced by the victims of accidents. They provide income protection of 80% of normal income, and medical and rehabilitation costs. They do much good but are mostly unloved due to a penchant for bureaucratic excess.
One advertisement shows a male motor-cyclist, riding over a deserted narrow winding road. The advertisement praises the rider for his planning, and attitude, which keeps him safe and able to ride. Very different from most road safety ads which adopt a hectoring tone.
The second advertisement shows a woman publicly disemboweling (metaphorically!) her husband for drunk driving and getting caught before a large gathering of their friends. He is shamefaced and has nothing to say. Wife as prosecutor. It enough to drive a man to drink.
The drumbeat of condescension, contempt, and anti-male moralizing is so constant that one would think positive ads like the one you describe with the motorcyclist would stand out, but so far I don't see it happening much. Remember the Egard watch response to Gillette? It was good, if a bit PC in seeming afraid to show too many white men; I don't know if they've kept on with male-positive ads.
Rear ending sometime at 5 mph at an intersection is a mistake, substituting baking soda for baking powder in a recipeis a mistake. . The production of a commercial involves too much to be termed a mistake.
As a former Kiwi I can say not only I have had a Bud Light (or was it just a Bud?), but also say it's worse than Stienlager (and that's saying something)
‘My dad, like most of his friends, was too busy providing for his family and volunteering in the community to give a damn about the shrill cries and smug condescension of feminist advocates, for whom he felt nothing but mystified contempt.’..and there you have it!
Know why its easy for these shrieking Mimi’s to get away with this BS? Cause men raised to be men at their fathers knee and in the company of other men only need the validation of other men, thats if they need validation at all.
Who knew Glenlivit aimed at being a ladies beverage of moderation, soon to be the favourite at Mahjongg tables everywhere!
Exactly! That's why feminism & alcohol prohibition sprung from the same upper class female activist impulses. I guess being Lady Bountiful, sharing food items and unasked-for advice with the lowly didn't give them enough sense of power.
Janice, I'm pretty sure that if there were no women like you I'd have blown my brains out 40 years ago. But there are actually a lot of you who are curiously silent about these issues.
I recently broke with my oldest female friend of 30 years. In the last phone conversation, she told me the story of her father, who abandoned the family when she was a girl,and my friend traveled across the country in her early 20s to find her dad. She was crushed decades ago when he showed no interest or sense of duty or caring to be her father.
Later, in that same phone conversation (and I never met my own father and was raised by a personality disordered mother), she went off on a psych lecturer who had the temerity to tell the class the grim statistics of child life trajectories with no-father, single-mother homes.
"I couldn't believe he was using this outmoded thinking. Kids don't need fathers! I never had a father and I'm fine. Lots of people grew up with out fathers just fine."
Again, same phone conversation in which she told me about hers, and a reminder that I'm a product of a fatherless family with the mental health and addiction history that is typical.
I couldn't take it anymore. There's nothing left to say.
I deliberately no longer have any contact with (former) friends who are woke; I just don't need the aggravation and condescending self-rightious superiority
It’s a sad state of affairs but I have to say that I am in the same boat as you William. To maintain such relationships requires self censorship which automatically nullifies the friendship. The closest person I ever had was my brother who unfortunately married an extreme feminist primary teacher and we rarely talk these days and when we do it is about meaningless topics.
I was innocent, but lynched of "wife abuse," although I never abused my now ex and there was not a shred of evidence or proof. Toronto's ruling Femi-Nxxis went after me like vultures and destroyed my whole life. With the help of Femi-Nxxis my ex criminally abducted my child twice, lastly internationally. The political police did nothing.
It is obvious that due to this experience I dislike Canadian women and that I am outspoken about it. As a result I have been harassed for years and needled in as many ways as the Femi-Nxxi ruled Liberal government can.
Lastly, they refused my Thai wife entry into Canada while I was very ill, although she does financially well in Bangkok and owns a debt-free 2 floors house. Everyone knows it is clearly revenge for being outspoken and not knuckling under to these anti-male sexist fascist hicks. Truly, they are mentally very sick people and outstanding victims’ trample. They play "PC," but whenever they get a chance, they kick innocent people and commit crimes.
To find collaborators they have falsely accused me of being a violent alcoholic, a racist, Nxxi, and in Thailand they tried to have me arrested and expelled back to Canada, by falsely accusing me of being a White Supremacist.
They don’t know any fairness and are hicks by ignorantly thinking that Thai people are like Canadians, believing any mudslinging. In contrary, the Thai police told me and accepted my documented evidence.
I am forced to live in Canada 6 months annually to receive old age pension, but it is a life in hell and I am in the process of seeking political asylum and hearings in the international court.
...............................
My comment: Funny how his Thai wife was denied entry into Canada to meet him in the hospital, but Canada is opening the floodgates of mass migration and increasing permanent residents to 500,000 a year. Many people are noticing that hoards of military-age men are entering Canada as international students.
Canada is a bad place to date, marry and reproduce, so the government uses that as an excuse to recklessly ramp up immigration to unsustainable levels. Let's hope that Donald Trump builds a wall for Canada.
It's also hypocritical that Canadian feminism demonizes men so much that fertility rates are struggling at 1.4.
I also read in a subreddit that a Canadian-born man met a security guard with a thick Indian accent. What caught his attention was when the Indian security guard praised mass immigration because they arrive to Canada ready to work, than having to care for Canadian-born children until they are 16 to 18. This is what Canada has become: A post-national Trudeau state.
Canada's feminist agenda is insidious. This man also suffered at the hands of the feminist gestapo:
By Zbigniew Zarnoch 2017-03-28
How the Canadian Collective Destroyed My Family, My Future and My Past. And How it Erased Me From the Map.
1. First I was denied refuge and protection from spousal domestic abuse, as male victims of domestic abuse were not even recognized by the State and only counsel and shelters for female victims were provided.
2. Then my children were taken away from me by force (two uniformed and armed with firearms government thugs) in the middle of day and in the most insidious way, for no reason and without warning.
3. I was banned by the order of the court of law from seeing or contacting my own children in any way at all, again for no other reason than to break up a loving family.
4. I was issued two other court orders restraining me from seeing my children. Again for no reason, without my participation, without my knowledge, and even at my physical absence from the city!
Clicking on "like" doesn't quite express my feelings reading this. Consider it that I clicked on the heart to express how mine breaks for you and your children.
EXCELLENT! I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE WHO THINK MEN should have to be providers & protectors.
wo-MEN no longer warrant protection or provisions. FATHERS should NOT have to support children they are estranged from. MEN should only feel obligated to provide & protect within a nuclear family under his authority.
I think the laws, going back long before our generation, that forced men to support wives who left them were created because fathers of women like that didn't want to have their problem daughters deposited back on their own doorsteps. Back then, the children of unmarried women were the responsibility of their mothers alone - no child support. When wives left husbands, they didn't get to take the kids, so no child support.
"No fault" divorce laws only made it worse, because child support got added to alimony, and the kids became hostages.
I see so many videos where grown women will praise their single or divorced moms for "protecting" them from supposedly awful fathers. Single/divorced moms just poison the kids against their own dads.It's sad they're so successful that the grown kids never question the mom's narrative.
Thanks, Chuck. I read an awesome book on the subject, years ago, called "Whores of the Court" that explained a lot of the feminist infiltration of not only family court, but the whole US court system, (and from what I see, Canadian, Australian & UK have similar problems). Even though it was written in the late 80s or early 90s, it's a great grounding in the problems feminists inflicted on our nations. In reality, with committed lifelong marriage, there wouldn't be a ned for family (breakup) courts in the first place.
During the 1st run of Court TV, as an actual US cable TV, broadcasting trials live, gavel-to-gavel, I was an avid watcher (they're on You Tube now, but not quite the same). There were a couple of trials in the early 2000s that were really eye-openers of the influence of feminism on criminal courts. Susan Wright, a Texas woman who brutally murdered her husband managed to get her sentence reduced a few years after conviction by claiming, with no evidence, that he'd been a coke-using wife abuser (during the 1st trial, there were tons of photos that showed her in skimpy summer clothes, never a scratch or bruise). The feminists in comment threads were infuriated I didn't buy her story. The other was Jodi Arias who brutally murdered a boyfriend who didn't want to marry her. One of Jodi's witnesses was feminist, Alyce LaViolette, whose expertise you can guess from the name of her most famous talk "Was Snow White An Abused Woman?" I watched a long video of one of Alyce's talks on You Tube. She was part of a feminist collective that had convinced police in Southern California that they didn't know how to handle domestic violence, leading to very strict protocols where a DV cll to police means someone(man) had to be arrested. La Violette wistfully recalled when the protocols weren't so strict and feminists had more leeway in their recommendations to police about "women's" issues. I was horrified, but not surprised. If you watch LaViolette, I also recommend the Lego Jodi Aria trial videos, as a bit of an antidote to the vileness.
THANKS Trish for you observations, Susan Wright got 16 years for plotting the murder by getting her husband drunk, tying him to the bed for sex, and stabbing him 193 times with two different knives, then burying the body in the back yard hindering prosecutio0n for a year, and...16 years? And she's out! I think Americans are basically the Jerry Springer audience unfortunately, MOST people on social media FEEL SORRY for HER! They wanted her to get off scott free! Like I said: I think most Americans ARE the Jerry Springer audience! Disgusting!
I'm so disgusted she's out. As I recall her original sentence was like 30 years, and I watched the hearing when she got it reduced to 20 and she got sooner than that - infuriating.
I don't know which was more disgusting, the way she defamed her victim husband as an abusive drug user without offering even a shred of evidence, just her own mouth flapping, or how her mother defamed her own husband/Susan's father (again, no evidence) to give Susan a "history" of damage that would make her vulnerable to an "abusive husband" - which Jeff was not (and I doubt Susan's father was). But worst of all was that, while Jeff was tied down and being tortured, their tiny son banged on the bedroom door, Susan threw on a bath robe to hide the blood from their little boy, and told him there was no noise, he'd had a nightmare, and put him back in his bedroom.
She is a monster. Feminists who defend her are monsters. I don't care how unhappy her childhood was. Even if the lies her mother told in court had been true, it doesn't matter. there is NO excuse.
I also think Susan Wright should be Exhibit A of why it's pointless to give in to feminist demands, like mandating "domestic violence awareness" education at school, posters hung in public ladies' restrooms, domestic violence shelters, DV training for police. ALL of that had been in place for at least 2 decades before she committed her multiple awful crimes against her loving (if possibly naive - or trapped?) husband. She made zero calls to police, zero harrowing escape attempts, had not one shred of evidence of any of her accusations against her husband.
Believe me, I know about how many people vehemently defend her - I got fury aimed at me for my comments during her trial and sentence reduction hearing.
I saw a video of a woman who was raised by 2 lesbian mom's. She said she'd gone on a middle school sleepover to the house of a girl with a married mom and dad. She was so impressed how wonderful the dad was to her friend, that when she got home she wrote the word "Daddy" on a slip of paper and kept it under her pillow. We can't engineer the humanity out of children.
I see this a LOT. In our parish, the Mother's Day sermon is always about how amazing moms are. (And I agree!) But the Father's Day sermons are always lectures about the failings of fathers.
Gee, thanks.
I talked to my pastor about it. I would recommend everyone do the same!
Looking for truth in the church is like looking for truth in family court. The bible says: 'Wives are to OBEY their husbands" 'wo-MEN are to COVER their bodies" The Apostle Paul admonished wo-MEN to have a sober expression on their face, and NOT to even wear a hole in their garments or show a spot of their flesh" Jesus admonsihed MEN NOT to marry a divorced wo-MAN for she is an adulterous" MY POINT: Pastors want to conscript MEN to traditional roles of protector & provider...whilst giving wo-MEN carte blanche to abandon their traditional role of support & subordination
Not surprisingly lots of churches are now complaining of losing the male flock, and of men who come to church once or twice and never return. The narrative is too close to the one pushed by the feminist liars around sexual and domestic violence, where predatory women are given cover - many churches seeming to act for women, as the catholic church did for priests, pretending they can do no wrong, and quietly moving the discussion where they are caught.
Christian leaders are IMPOSTERS they are NOT telling the truth. Jesus admonished MEN to NOT marry a divorced wo-MAN" "For she is an adulterous and has been defiled" My point: If Christian preachers were actually defending Gods word, they would not be conscripting MEN into tradtional roles of protector & provider whilst wo-MEN are being given carte blanche to escape traditional roles of support & subordination
About 500,000 years ago, our ancestors started becoming a bi-parental species. We know that because today's brain imaging shows paternal behavior originating in the newest part of our brain, the cerebral cortex that began developing about 500,000 years ago. Meanwhile, maternal parenting comes from the oldest parts of our brain, the amygdala and other ancient structures. As a bi-parental species (one of the few in the mammalian world), our children need and do best when they receive different parenting from Dad than from Mom. Kids do best when they receive both and each parenting style tends to support and mesh with the other. To the extent that we teach fathers to parent like mothers, we do them, our children and our societies a grave disservice.
Feminism is regressive!
When the wokeys blather about male brains and female brains (to justify "trans" by claiming there can be female brains in male bodies) they don't seem to realize that this ^^^^
is why male & female brains are different -- it's a mechanism whereby the offspring get the benefit of massively more kinds of brain activity focused on their rearing, since the brain function is spread out over 2 brains.
We have 5000 or 6000 years of recorded HIS-story...DON'T buy the evolution THEORY. I DO believe in ADAM & EVE. I also believe that GOD CURSED wo-MEN with LABOR PAINS for trapping MEN with pregnancy as it says in Genesis. DON'T agree that Fathers should have to provide for wo-MEN or children outside the nuclear family.
I see this a lot in an online mom group I'm in. It's full of upper class moms who stay home and constantly complain their husbands aren't doing more cleaning and child rearing.
A friend of mine was on maternity leave from her university job some years ago; her husband was still working at his. But you can bet he had to pull his weight getting up in the night etc on an equal basis. The man is a shadow of his former self. Very sad.
Janice, this is off topic but I think it will interest you and possibly be useful in your reporting. My alma mater, University of North Texas, has just added a course on witchcraft in their W&GS department. They're teaching the intersection of black magic and activism.
https://texasscorecard.com/state/texas-universities-fund-courses-on-witches-and-black-magic/
I was brought up in a single-mother household and we had to do washing up. When I got married, for about the first three years I thought as a good husband I'd do the washing up, so my wife barely did it. What I found very strange was that she started complaining to other people about how I wasn't helping her with housework. I got a bit annoyed and decided to stop doing the washing up. One day I spent the entire day doing work around the house, mostly cutting weeds and bamboo which were so high that barely any light got in the windows, as well as sweeping the floor and other jobs. My wife's response to this was to complain, on the same day, that I wasn't helping her enough with the housework, and I used to do more to help her (back in the day when she was complaining about me not doing enough to help her) but I didn't do it any more. She seemed to feel she was playing some sort of game which housewives play of saying their husbands aren't doing enough to help them, which was unconnected to whether or not I was helping her.
Have a read of Maternal Gatekeeping, there is an aspect to it about mothers be able to be martyrs.
I googled your term, and Maternal Gatekeeping sounds like what used to be called being a fusspot. She is a terrible fusspot, especially about cats, whom she treats as a combination of fragile, delicate glasswork and a newborn infant, all the while as the cat leaps air gaps of several metres, or jumps from standing to human head height. A lot of women seem to be fusspots, not so many men.
We women expect men to know what it is we want them to do by magic especially when it comes to household tasks. This includes doing the task properly ( in other words just like they do). It took me years to be more like a man and be very specific about what I would like my husband to do. Still working on not being annoyed when he doesn't do it my way.
Which is contradictory, because according to studies, more feminine task a man does the less attractive he appears in the wife's eyes.
A lazy man is most unattractive, Brad.
Sounds like you should have DUMPED her! I wouldn't settle for a wo-MAN who doesn't see herself as the "moon revolving around the sun" (Which was said about how BRUCE LEE'S wife felt about him,
BEFORE SHE MARRIED HER LAWYER! Since Jesus said: "DO 'NOT' marry a divorced wo-MAN" "For she is defiled" "And is an ADULTEROUS" I say>>> MEN... if you do not see the wo-MAN who cries WOLF... as the FOX guarding the HEN HOUSE.... shame on you for not getting ADAM & EVE
The baseless, ridiculous, and completely unfair complaints about housework were very annoying, and if we didn't have children I would certainly have considered ending the relationship at that point.
The problem is that wo-MEN want equality in the 'self aggrandizing' sense, but not in the reality/accountability/ sense, and the CHURCH, JUST LIKE ANY OTHER institution, IGNORING wo-MEN'S 'monumental transgressions' whilst admonishing the MALE population for the (fallout) after the sexual >(wo-MAN'S) revolution/liberation/< THE BIBLE IS AGAINST wo-MEN'S liberation!!!!!! ?????? And so the CHURCH IS >FAKE! Jesus said this >himself! See...if MEN have a responsibility... >So do >wo-MEN!
In the end I think that it's something you have to work out with your partner. I don't mind doing housework or even helping but it's difficult to collaborate with my wife, so what I do is to just demark an area of work which I alone do and leave other areas for her to do, so I do all the gardening and all of the rubbish disposal.
Bettina Arndt conducted research into housework and I was interesting reading
Apparently the best combination is a male who is obsessive complusive with a partner who is prepared to let him be that way.
I'm disappointed to learn that Glenlivet has followed in Gillette's repugnant footsteps (although--to be honest--I far prefer Laphroaig, Lagavulin, or Bunnahabhain anyway). It's telling that the daughters and sons portrayed in this propaganda piece rely on inane clichés to speak about the "new and improved" forms of fatherhood they envision. Their inanity reveals that the goals of feminism have never consisted of creating fathers--or more generally, men--that feminism finds acceptable: building an ideal man or father is a pointless gambit in a game that will always ultimately assert the moral superiority of women. Have we ever seen a hate group that found its targets sufficiently "rehabilitated" to its liking that it renounced its hatred for them? Feminists win this game of dressing the emperor in the new clothes they've designed for him simply by maintaining their pernicious myth that men are morally inadequate and that they are the arbiters of any moral goodness that they want to dole out or withhold as they wish.
My husband has never liked Glenlivet much either. His favorites are Bunnahabhain, the Glenmorangie Quinta Ruban, and the Aberlour 12. He used to prefer the very peaty Scotches, but now he's transitioned away from them.
I agree with you: the ultimate goal is not to rehabilitate men but to have men hate themselves. In that, I trust the feminists will not succeed.
It succeeded on millions of us. It worked especially well on gay men like me.
Until it didn't.
With the realisation that the concept of 'internalised misogyny/homophobia/racism' was created to justify externalised hatred, contempt and social relegation for men/straight men/white men comes true liberation.
Exactly. I had the same experience.
Pleased to "know" you. I think there are more gay men out there like us than we may have suspected. (Pleased to know you even if you're not gay.)
There are a lot of gay men who are pushing back against woke militant "trans activists" at the forefront of promoting and legislating child-abussive medically transitioning minors; these men should be celebrated
I'm starting to think I need to develop an appreciation of scotch to be a real man.
It's very easy to fake expertise in Scotch whisky. Just learn a few adjectives like "peaty" and a few obscure names like "Lagavulin" and you're already well on your way to sounding like an expert. For extra marks, go on a guided tour of the Scottish Highlands to increase your whisky credibility.
I suggest not the Highlands but the Islands. Islay, Jura (George Orwell wrote Nineteen Eighty-Four there), and Skye off the west coast would make for a memorable holiday. Just don't go during the midege season, or you'll never return!!!
I once went camping by Loch Tay and tried some obscure single malts. But I need to persevere to actually get a taste for whisky.
Is the Japanese stuff as good as the Japs think it is?
I don't know anything about alcoholic drinks. Around the age of twenty at university I used to drink beer in the student bar. I realised I didn't enjoy it and haven't really drunk alcohol since then.
Bunnahabhain was the first Islay malt I ever tasted, and I've loved Islay malts ever since. When my beloved daughters were maybe 8/9 and wanted to go to Disneyworld Florida, I took them for a tour of the Islay distileries instead. Character-forming, or something haha!
I've heard it said that during prohibition in the US, there were officials whose job it was to taste alcohol-containing liquids to ensure that nobody would ever find them drinkable. And so it was that Laphroaig was marketed as a cough mixture, and sold in the US. I'm sure the story is true, I think a man in a pub (public house / bar) related it to me.
If he hasn't tried it yet, your husband might like Talisker. It's less peaty than the big Islay scotches, but still has a bold, slightly saline character. And as far as I know, they've never led disparaging campaigns against men. 🙂
Talisker https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talisker_distillery is wonderful, I think the only whisky distilled on the Isle of Skye.
There's a new distillery on Raasay, a small (but very interesting - check out Hallaig & Jock's Road - island off Skye. Not tasted it yet but I'm looking forward to doing so.
Thanks Squire, me too!
I find it a tad too peppery.
Does your husband "smoke" his scotch with a "topper".
People who see themselves as victims will victimise. If they cannot find a reason to victimise they will make up reasons, or dispense with reasons altogether and tyrannise for the sheer hell of it. Aesop's fable of the wolf and the lamb sums it up.
Islay just makes better Scotch, smokies is better.
My sense is that all this toxic messaging IS somehow responsible for some demoralization of men, which is having negative social side affects. Other men I think just ignore this stuff, and increasingly avoid media generally and the corporate world also. The onslaught never ends.
I never really appreciated my dad, until I became a dad.
There were a lot of behind-the-scenes things that he did. Like repairing what I broke after I was asleep. Teaching me how to do things, that mothers do not teach, like riding a bike. He taught me about being safe.
The real reason that men get the moral bashing on Father's Day is about shaming and humiliating all aspects of "Relational Aggression". To make men feel guilty.
I recently watched a Youtube short where a young woman worked in a Male Prison and she said that the extremely common theme amongst the prisoners is that they were "Fatherless".
In UK prisons its about 80% of inmates
Similar in the US.
I remember years ago, some friends visited us and their little girl dropped her hair tie between the boards on our verandah. My husband and her Dad spend ages bending wire and making a hook to draw it up and return it to her. I thought this was so sweet and kind. I know I wouldn't have done this!
I like whiskey although I don't drink it very often. It is somewhat more-ish. And a man alone has to choose his friends wisely. Bud Light is not a big thing in New Zealand and I don't remember ever drinking it. None-the-less I have put both Bud and Glenlivet on my Gillette list. Banned forever.
As I write this I can see that this is an over-reaction. Everyone can make a mistake. Should I not just shrug and move on? Was the harm to me sufficient to make pariahs of them? Probably not, but banned forever they are, and so they will remain. A line must be drawn somewhere.
Two advertisements are currently running in New Zealand from the Accident Compensation Commission. The ACC is a "state owned enterprise" a socialist style compulsory insurance provider designed to solve the very real problems faced by the victims of accidents. They provide income protection of 80% of normal income, and medical and rehabilitation costs. They do much good but are mostly unloved due to a penchant for bureaucratic excess.
One advertisement shows a male motor-cyclist, riding over a deserted narrow winding road. The advertisement praises the rider for his planning, and attitude, which keeps him safe and able to ride. Very different from most road safety ads which adopt a hectoring tone.
The second advertisement shows a woman publicly disemboweling (metaphorically!) her husband for drunk driving and getting caught before a large gathering of their friends. He is shamefaced and has nothing to say. Wife as prosecutor. It enough to drive a man to drink.
The drumbeat of condescension, contempt, and anti-male moralizing is so constant that one would think positive ads like the one you describe with the motorcyclist would stand out, but so far I don't see it happening much. Remember the Egard watch response to Gillette? It was good, if a bit PC in seeming afraid to show too many white men; I don't know if they've kept on with male-positive ads.
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=2330118730341353
Rear ending sometime at 5 mph at an intersection is a mistake, substituting baking soda for baking powder in a recipeis a mistake. . The production of a commercial involves too much to be termed a mistake.
As a former Kiwi I can say not only I have had a Bud Light (or was it just a Bud?), but also say it's worse than Stienlager (and that's saying something)
So you can take the Kiwi out of the man?
Nah, NEVER! Once a Kiwi, always a Kiwi.
‘My dad, like most of his friends, was too busy providing for his family and volunteering in the community to give a damn about the shrill cries and smug condescension of feminist advocates, for whom he felt nothing but mystified contempt.’..and there you have it!
Know why its easy for these shrieking Mimi’s to get away with this BS? Cause men raised to be men at their fathers knee and in the company of other men only need the validation of other men, thats if they need validation at all.
Who knew Glenlivit aimed at being a ladies beverage of moderation, soon to be the favourite at Mahjongg tables everywhere!
LOL "ladies beverage of moderation"? Feminist don't know the meaning of the word "moderation"
Exactly! That's why feminism & alcohol prohibition sprung from the same upper class female activist impulses. I guess being Lady Bountiful, sharing food items and unasked-for advice with the lowly didn't give them enough sense of power.
I haven't heard the term 'shrieking Mimi' since my Dad died. Thank you.
An order of 10 above Screaming Mimi’s😊
Mahjongg in China is most definitely a man's game.
Far out… they can have the game and the drink! Actually I think I knew that from reading Mitchner… still I’d rather play Bridge or Stud.
Well, when I make my choice of Glens, it looks like Fiddich will now be the one. Hope they are still doing just what they're best at.
Janice, I'm pretty sure that if there were no women like you I'd have blown my brains out 40 years ago. But there are actually a lot of you who are curiously silent about these issues.
Yes, yes, it's all a rich tapestry.
Thank you.
I recently broke with my oldest female friend of 30 years. In the last phone conversation, she told me the story of her father, who abandoned the family when she was a girl,and my friend traveled across the country in her early 20s to find her dad. She was crushed decades ago when he showed no interest or sense of duty or caring to be her father.
Later, in that same phone conversation (and I never met my own father and was raised by a personality disordered mother), she went off on a psych lecturer who had the temerity to tell the class the grim statistics of child life trajectories with no-father, single-mother homes.
"I couldn't believe he was using this outmoded thinking. Kids don't need fathers! I never had a father and I'm fine. Lots of people grew up with out fathers just fine."
Again, same phone conversation in which she told me about hers, and a reminder that I'm a product of a fatherless family with the mental health and addiction history that is typical.
I couldn't take it anymore. There's nothing left to say.
I deliberately no longer have any contact with (former) friends who are woke; I just don't need the aggravation and condescending self-rightious superiority
It’s a sad state of affairs but I have to say that I am in the same boat as you William. To maintain such relationships requires self censorship which automatically nullifies the friendship. The closest person I ever had was my brother who unfortunately married an extreme feminist primary teacher and we rarely talk these days and when we do it is about meaningless topics.
Saddened that your brothers partners religion is a barrier between you and your brother. Stay calm, stay strong; feminism will pass
Thanks! Well written, and well said.
You hit it out of the park with this one Janice. Thank you once again for your incredibly incisive analysis.
@[name provided]
6 years ago
I was innocent, but lynched of "wife abuse," although I never abused my now ex and there was not a shred of evidence or proof. Toronto's ruling Femi-Nxxis went after me like vultures and destroyed my whole life. With the help of Femi-Nxxis my ex criminally abducted my child twice, lastly internationally. The political police did nothing.
It is obvious that due to this experience I dislike Canadian women and that I am outspoken about it. As a result I have been harassed for years and needled in as many ways as the Femi-Nxxi ruled Liberal government can.
Lastly, they refused my Thai wife entry into Canada while I was very ill, although she does financially well in Bangkok and owns a debt-free 2 floors house. Everyone knows it is clearly revenge for being outspoken and not knuckling under to these anti-male sexist fascist hicks. Truly, they are mentally very sick people and outstanding victims’ trample. They play "PC," but whenever they get a chance, they kick innocent people and commit crimes.
To find collaborators they have falsely accused me of being a violent alcoholic, a racist, Nxxi, and in Thailand they tried to have me arrested and expelled back to Canada, by falsely accusing me of being a White Supremacist.
They don’t know any fairness and are hicks by ignorantly thinking that Thai people are like Canadians, believing any mudslinging. In contrary, the Thai police told me and accepted my documented evidence.
I am forced to live in Canada 6 months annually to receive old age pension, but it is a life in hell and I am in the process of seeking political asylum and hearings in the international court.
...............................
My comment: Funny how his Thai wife was denied entry into Canada to meet him in the hospital, but Canada is opening the floodgates of mass migration and increasing permanent residents to 500,000 a year. Many people are noticing that hoards of military-age men are entering Canada as international students.
Canada is a bad place to date, marry and reproduce, so the government uses that as an excuse to recklessly ramp up immigration to unsustainable levels. Let's hope that Donald Trump builds a wall for Canada.
It's also hypocritical that Canadian feminism demonizes men so much that fertility rates are struggling at 1.4.
I also read in a subreddit that a Canadian-born man met a security guard with a thick Indian accent. What caught his attention was when the Indian security guard praised mass immigration because they arrive to Canada ready to work, than having to care for Canadian-born children until they are 16 to 18. This is what Canada has become: A post-national Trudeau state.
Sorry to hear about your horrific experience. Canada is not a fair country in general, especially for men and fathers.
Canada's feminist agenda is insidious. This man also suffered at the hands of the feminist gestapo:
By Zbigniew Zarnoch 2017-03-28
How the Canadian Collective Destroyed My Family, My Future and My Past. And How it Erased Me From the Map.
1. First I was denied refuge and protection from spousal domestic abuse, as male victims of domestic abuse were not even recognized by the State and only counsel and shelters for female victims were provided.
2. Then my children were taken away from me by force (two uniformed and armed with firearms government thugs) in the middle of day and in the most insidious way, for no reason and without warning.
3. I was banned by the order of the court of law from seeing or contacting my own children in any way at all, again for no other reason than to break up a loving family.
4. I was issued two other court orders restraining me from seeing my children. Again for no reason, without my participation, without my knowledge, and even at my physical absence from the city!
Clicking on "like" doesn't quite express my feelings reading this. Consider it that I clicked on the heart to express how mine breaks for you and your children.
Eeva Sodhi, wrote about that almost 2 decades ago.
Fathers becoming watered down versions of mothers and conservatives becoming watered down versions of progressives. Microcosm and macrocosm.
EXCELLENT! I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE WHO THINK MEN should have to be providers & protectors.
wo-MEN no longer warrant protection or provisions. FATHERS should NOT have to support children they are estranged from. MEN should only feel obligated to provide & protect within a nuclear family under his authority.
I think the laws, going back long before our generation, that forced men to support wives who left them were created because fathers of women like that didn't want to have their problem daughters deposited back on their own doorsteps. Back then, the children of unmarried women were the responsibility of their mothers alone - no child support. When wives left husbands, they didn't get to take the kids, so no child support.
"No fault" divorce laws only made it worse, because child support got added to alimony, and the kids became hostages.
I see so many videos where grown women will praise their single or divorced moms for "protecting" them from supposedly awful fathers. Single/divorced moms just poison the kids against their own dads.It's sad they're so successful that the grown kids never question the mom's narrative.
I like your thinking on this as well as the way you expressed it Trish!
Thanks, Chuck. I read an awesome book on the subject, years ago, called "Whores of the Court" that explained a lot of the feminist infiltration of not only family court, but the whole US court system, (and from what I see, Canadian, Australian & UK have similar problems). Even though it was written in the late 80s or early 90s, it's a great grounding in the problems feminists inflicted on our nations. In reality, with committed lifelong marriage, there wouldn't be a ned for family (breakup) courts in the first place.
During the 1st run of Court TV, as an actual US cable TV, broadcasting trials live, gavel-to-gavel, I was an avid watcher (they're on You Tube now, but not quite the same). There were a couple of trials in the early 2000s that were really eye-openers of the influence of feminism on criminal courts. Susan Wright, a Texas woman who brutally murdered her husband managed to get her sentence reduced a few years after conviction by claiming, with no evidence, that he'd been a coke-using wife abuser (during the 1st trial, there were tons of photos that showed her in skimpy summer clothes, never a scratch or bruise). The feminists in comment threads were infuriated I didn't buy her story. The other was Jodi Arias who brutally murdered a boyfriend who didn't want to marry her. One of Jodi's witnesses was feminist, Alyce LaViolette, whose expertise you can guess from the name of her most famous talk "Was Snow White An Abused Woman?" I watched a long video of one of Alyce's talks on You Tube. She was part of a feminist collective that had convinced police in Southern California that they didn't know how to handle domestic violence, leading to very strict protocols where a DV cll to police means someone(man) had to be arrested. La Violette wistfully recalled when the protocols weren't so strict and feminists had more leeway in their recommendations to police about "women's" issues. I was horrified, but not surprised. If you watch LaViolette, I also recommend the Lego Jodi Aria trial videos, as a bit of an antidote to the vileness.
THANKS Trish for you observations, Susan Wright got 16 years for plotting the murder by getting her husband drunk, tying him to the bed for sex, and stabbing him 193 times with two different knives, then burying the body in the back yard hindering prosecutio0n for a year, and...16 years? And she's out! I think Americans are basically the Jerry Springer audience unfortunately, MOST people on social media FEEL SORRY for HER! They wanted her to get off scott free! Like I said: I think most Americans ARE the Jerry Springer audience! Disgusting!
I'm so disgusted she's out. As I recall her original sentence was like 30 years, and I watched the hearing when she got it reduced to 20 and she got sooner than that - infuriating.
I don't know which was more disgusting, the way she defamed her victim husband as an abusive drug user without offering even a shred of evidence, just her own mouth flapping, or how her mother defamed her own husband/Susan's father (again, no evidence) to give Susan a "history" of damage that would make her vulnerable to an "abusive husband" - which Jeff was not (and I doubt Susan's father was). But worst of all was that, while Jeff was tied down and being tortured, their tiny son banged on the bedroom door, Susan threw on a bath robe to hide the blood from their little boy, and told him there was no noise, he'd had a nightmare, and put him back in his bedroom.
She is a monster. Feminists who defend her are monsters. I don't care how unhappy her childhood was. Even if the lies her mother told in court had been true, it doesn't matter. there is NO excuse.
I also think Susan Wright should be Exhibit A of why it's pointless to give in to feminist demands, like mandating "domestic violence awareness" education at school, posters hung in public ladies' restrooms, domestic violence shelters, DV training for police. ALL of that had been in place for at least 2 decades before she committed her multiple awful crimes against her loving (if possibly naive - or trapped?) husband. She made zero calls to police, zero harrowing escape attempts, had not one shred of evidence of any of her accusations against her husband.
Believe me, I know about how many people vehemently defend her - I got fury aimed at me for my comments during her trial and sentence reduction hearing.
Many fatherless children would love to just have a father never mind one that took them camping!
I saw a video of a woman who was raised by 2 lesbian mom's. She said she'd gone on a middle school sleepover to the house of a girl with a married mom and dad. She was so impressed how wonderful the dad was to her friend, that when she got home she wrote the word "Daddy" on a slip of paper and kept it under her pillow. We can't engineer the humanity out of children.